Atlanta Cockatoos finally look like pro franchise against tax accountant disguised as Vikings QB

Atlanta QB Matt Ryan, shortly after realizing his team will not go 0-for-the-season this afternoon.

Atlanta QB Matt Ryan, shortly after realizing his team will not go 0-for-the-season this afternoon.
Image: (Getty Images)

Some occurrences in life are so rare that we all need to take a timeout and acknowledge them, for no other reason than to just simply admire the event for happening.

Today, we saw one of those events.

By the Grace of God and infant Jesus born out of Bethlehem, the Atlanta Pigeons found a way to secure a win without blowing a fourth-quarter lead.

The Dodo birds move to 1-5 on the season after demolishing the Minnesota Vikings, 40-23.

Granted, the Vikings continue to willingly put an H&R Block tax professional at quarterback and expect him to lead them to success. All with a coach who is responsible for a defense that couldn’t stop a papercut bleed with mummy wrap.

Kirk Cousins’ three interceptions on the day, along with the Vikings defense’s blatant refusal to defend any Atlanta receivers, made it relatively easy for Matt Ryan and Julio Jones to hook up for almost 140 yards and two touchdowns in the win.

Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer obviously thinks defense is just a suggestion on the path to NFL success, as his squad gave up more than 460 yards of total offense. Zimmer made zero competent adjustments as he watched Ryan and Atlanta’s new interim coach, Raheem Morris, beat his brains out all afternoon. The squad’s defensive performance left many Vikings fans calling for Zimmer to get thrown out of Minnesota like DJ Jazzy Jeff got thrown out of Uncle Phil’s Bel-Air mansion.

Now, I do have to give Morris credit for having the Hummingbirds at least ready to play this week. This team could have easily folded and thrown in the towel once-beloved former head coach Dan Quinn got fired just days ago.

Hopefully, Morris can get the Cockatoos to make a run down the stretch this season and put his name in the hat for a head coaching position at the end of the season. It’s no secret that this league needs more black head coaches, so having Morris on the sidelines permanently would be a welcomed sight.

Atlanta played well enough to beat another team that is just as inept at putting talented players in positions to be successful as they are.

And for that reason, the parakeets have finally gotten their first win of the season. I’m interested to see Atlanta will continue to look like a professional football organization or shrink back to their old methods of folding in more ways than a middle school “do you like me?” note.

If they keep performing like this maybe they’ll make me call them by their real name by the end of the season. 

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